We all know someone who was taken to soon by that ugly, horrible, nasty word called suicide. More than 30,000 people in the United States take their lives each year. But what about all the family and friends that are left behind? The stages of grief that they will experience will come in many waves, emotions, and tears.
Stages Of Grief
There is no wrong or right way to grieve, everyone will grieve differently when a friend or loved one has passed away. Just like everyone grieves differently, the amount of time everyone grieves will be different. The grieving stage can last for weeks, months, and sometimes even years.
- Shock- It may take some time to set in that this is real and that your loved one did commit suicide.
- Anger- You may be angry with yourself or family for not seeing any of the warning signs. You may also be upset at your loved one for abandoning you.
- Guilt- You will have thoughts such as “was that a warning sign that I missed,” “maybe when they wanted to talk the other day, they were coming to me for help,” and “what if I had just paid more attention?”
- Depression- You might start to think about committing suicide yourself if very upset, and feel like you have no one to talk to.
- Confusion- It is hard to understand why people choose suicide instead of trying to get help, or why they feel like suicide was the only option they could turn to. Those are some questions that may never be answered.
- Ashamed- You may feel ashamed for yourself or for your family that your loved one could even consider suicide.
- Nightmares- It can be hard to sleep at night if you are having nightmares, because maybe you discovered the loved one who committed suicide.
Tips On Grieving And Dealing With Suicide
After a loved one’s death and the grieving stages that come after, you may realize that because of this traumatic event that has happened, but you will need help to get through the grieving stages to come. It may take some time, but do not hesitate to ask for assistance. Asking for some help and support can help tremendously, not only for yourself, but for your other loved ones who are also grieving.
- No rush- Losing a loved one is very painful. Do not rush yourself to try to get better, take your time.
- Take it day by day- Not every day will be easy, some days will be harder than others. That is completely normal, because you are going through something painful.
- Reminders- Not only will you have some days that are harder than others. Keep in mind that holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries can be a setback in the grieving process.
- Talk to family, support groups or counselling- Communicate! It’s one of the best things you can do. You may not want to, but talking about your loved one’s death with your family, or at support groups, where people have been in your shoes might just help you grow stronger. Maybe one day you can be the reason someone decides not to commit suicide.