Please visit my Why Suicide? Blog

“A must-read book for anyone whose life has been touched by suicide.  It’s compassionate, informative, and heartfelt.  Do yourself a favor and start the healing with this splendid book!”  — Dear Abby

Why Suicide Cover


This is exactly the book I searched for, but did not find, after my sister took her life nearly twenty years ago. What Eric Marcus knows so well is that for those of us left grieving, suicide is an emotional cataclysm whose shock waves pummel us with too many questions, questions that multiply too quickly and too painfully, often for years to follow. Those questions, and their possible answers, are the backbone of this plainspoken, kind, consoling book–woven together with the reflections of people who, like the author, have endured this particularly cruel and lonely kind of heartbreak. What survivors of suicide need most of all is a wise comrade, not a counselor. Eric Marcus is that very comrade.

— Julia Glass, National Book Award–winning author of I See You Everywhere, Three Junes, and The Widower’s Tale

Published by HarperOne,
an imprint of
HarperCollinsPublishers

To book Eric Marcus for a speaking engagement,
contact HarperCollins Speakers Bureau
(212) 207-7100
speakersbureau@harpercollins.com

Author Photographs

Eric Marcus (at left) and his brother, Lewis, with their father, Irwin Marcus, shortly before his suicide in December 1970.

Eric Marcus is the author of several books, including Is It A Choice?, Making Gay History, and Together Forever. He is also co-author of Breaking the Surface, the #1 New York Times bestselling autobiography of Olympic diving champion Greg Louganis. (Photo Credit: Dixie Sheridan.)

Introduction to Why Suicide? Questions & Answers About Suicide, Suicide Prevention, and Coping with the Suicide of Someone You Know

by Eric Marcus

I’m sorry that you have any reason to read this book.  But the sad fact is that almost everyone is touched at some point in life by suicide, whether it’s the suicide or attempted suicide of someone we know or our own passing self-destructive thoughts.

No matter what the circumstances, there are always questions for those of us who are affected by suicide.  When I was twelve, my father took his life.  His death was devastating, the circumstances painfully perplexing and embarrassing.  I was hurt, angry, guilt-ridden, and ashamed, and I didn’t know why.  I had so many questions, but there was no one who could provide the answers and perspective I desperately needed.  The adults in my life didn’t have the answers to give and, as I later learned, had few places in 1970 to find them even if they had looked.  And to be fair, most of them were devastated themselves and had little emotional energy or wherewithal to consider what was going on for a well-behaved and outwardly brave little boy who didn’t shed a tear at his father’s funeral.

Continue reading »

Additional Praise for Why Suicide?

It would have been such a comfort to have read this book after I lost my
husband Edgar to suicide.
— Joan Rivers

I opened this book and said, ‘Where was this when I needed it?!’
— Judy Collins

Eric Marcus has much to teach us whether or not we have experienced the trauma of suicide in our personal lives.  Educators in Pre-K through college, school administrators, guidance counselors, pediatricians, social workers, and mental health professionals will all find this book to be an invaluable resource in the practice of their profession.
— Mary P. Lefkarites, Ph.D, Associate Professor,
Hunter College of the City University of New York

Continue reading »

News, Interviews, and Events

NEWS

October 5, 2011, review of Why Suicide? in
Chicago’s Windy City Times (bottom page 36):
Prolific gay author and activist Eric Marcus is one of our community’s most important writer-historians. All of his books provide insight into issues of importance to LGBT life and history. Why Suicide is a re-issue that has been updated and revised, and it could not be more timely, given the continued depressing rate of LGBT suicides, among the young and older. Marcus’ father committed suicide, so this issue has been close to him most of his life. The book is a required read for anyone who cares about the why, how and getting beyond a suicide of a friend or family member. This is not about gay or straight, but of course it is informed by Marcus’ own gay lens.

Read about Eric’s National Suicide Prevention Week presentation at the University of South Dakota on living life in the aftermath of a loved one’s suicide.
Vermillion Plain Talk, September 16, 2011

“Dear Abby” recommends Why Suicide? in her September 7, 2011 column.

Suicide myths from Why Suicide? explored in tumblr.com post.

“Dear Abby” recommends Why Suicide? in her November 11, 2010 column.

Library Journal reviews Why Suicide? in the October 7, 2010, issue.

Why Suicide? reviewed in the Fall 2010 Edition of “Suicide Survivor,” a publication of the American Association of Suicidology.

Why Suicide? reviewed in “The Good Men’s Project” magazine.
November 30, 2010

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has selected Why Suicide? for the organization’s Surviving Suicide Loss Bibliography.

INTERVIEWS & VIDEOS

• Video: Watch hour-long AFSP Congressional staffer briefing on suicide moderated by Eric on November 15, 2011, at the Capitol Visitors Center in Washington, DC.

• Video: See Eric moderate the 2010 International Survivors of Suicide Day panel discussion with four people who have lost loved ones to suicide.  Please visit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website for more information on Survivor Day.

• RADIO: Bobby DeMuro interviews Eric for his November 18, 2011, “7-Day Challenge“ show on the Radio Exiles network in advance of International Survivors of Suicide Day.

• RADIO: Listen to Eric interviewed about suicide and religion on NPR’s Interfaith Voices, March 9, 2011.  The interview begins 38 minutes, 45 seconds into the show, so once you click on “Play Show,” you’ll have to move the little time indicator rectangle to the right (along the time indicator line) until you get to 38 minutes and 45 seconds.  The interview lasts 13 minutes.

RADIO: Listen to Eric interviewed about Why Suicide? on WAMC Northeast Public Radio, February 9, 2011.

• PRINT: Therese Borchard, who writes the “Beyond Blue” blog at BeliefNet.com,
interviews Eric about Why Suicide? on PsychCentral.com.  Also published in
BeliefNet’s “Your Peace of Mind” newsletter.

EVENTS

None scheduled.

Suicide Issues & Stories in the News

• A UK Mom Shares Her Story About Her Son’s Suicide
and its Aftermath
Cambridge News, January 23, 2012

• Military:  Suicide Among Active-Duty Soldiers at
Record High in 2011

New York Times, 1-19-2012

• Inspiring Story of Survival:  A Veteran Who Attempted Suicide
Now Counsels Other Veterans Dealing with Substance Abuse

New York Times, 1-18-2012

• New Young Adult Novel About Suicide:
Try Not to Breathe by Jennifer Hubbard

LA Times, January 15, 2012

• Facebook Joins Suicide Prevention Effort
TIME, December 13, 2011

NY Times “Social Q’s” Columnist Philip Galanes Discusses
His Father’s Suicide in Terrific NPR “Fresh Air” Interview

NPR, “Fresh Air,” December 5, 2011

• Celebrated Poet Who Wrote Powerfully About Her
Husband’s Suicide Dies at 96
(obit link includes sample poems)
New York Times, November 24, 2011

• How Can We Prevent Military Suicides?
New York Times, “Room for Debate,” November 20, 2011

• Army Still Grappling with Soldier Suicides
CNN, November 18, 2011

• Facing Thanksgiving After a Son’s Suicide
Toms River Patch, November 14, 2011

• Veterans Give Video Testimonials On How Reaching
Out Helped Them With Mental Health Issues

Make the Connection/Veterans Stories & Support

NY Times “Social Q’s” Columnist Writes About
Impact of His Father’s Suicide

New York Times, November 6, 2011

• New Report on Military and Veteran Suicides and How to Reduce Them
Center for a New American Security, October 31, 2011

• Caution Re:  Talking About LGBT Youth Suicides and Bullying
A terrific op-ed from the director of the Trevor Project about how
the ways we talk about this issue can unintentionally spread the problem.
The Advocate, October 20, 2011

• New Study Shows That Fear Prevents Us From Helping Suicidal Loved Ones
The Atlantic, October 19, 2011

• An Erev Yom Kippur Suicide; A Daughter Seeks Forgiveness
New York Times Opinionator, October 5 2011

• Successful Anti-Suicide Program for
Minnesota Military Running Out of Money

Minneapolis Star Tribune, October 2, 2011

• Recession Causes Silent Epidemic of Depression
The Fiscal Times, October 2, 2011

• The Danger of Glamorizing a Teen’s Suicide
USA Today, September 29, 2011

• Jane Fonda’s Biographer Patricia Bosworth Writes Movingly on
Their Shared Experience as Suicide Survivors
New York Times, September 25, 2011

• Minnesota Suburb Confronts Gay Bullying
New York Times, September 13, 2011

• Eight Student Suicides in Minnesota School District
(also see gay bullying article above)

New York Times, September 13, 2011

• 9/11 World Trade Center Jumpers:  Was It Suicide?  Does It Matter?
(Please be aware that this article is graphic and very upsetting—or at least it was to me)
Daily Nation (Kenya), September 12, 2011

• U.S. Rep. Judy Chu’s Testimony at House Armed Services Committee Hearing (Re: Her Marine Nephew’s Suicide) Touches Military Leaders
Huffington Post, September 9, 2011

• Refusing Nourishment at End of Life: Suicide or Rational Choice or Both?
New York Times, August 30, 2011

• One In 10 Suicides Linked to Chronic Illness
The Guardian, August 23, 2011

• Department of Veteran Affairs in Court Battle Over Failure
to Care For Veterans with Mental Health Problems

New York Times Editorial, August 21, 2011

• A Father Kills Himself to Save Son from Deportation
New York Times, August 20, 2011

• Do We Need to Speak More Openly About Suicide?
The Sydney Morning Herald, August 13, 2011

• New Details in Tyler Clementi Suicide Reveal More Complex Picture
New York Times, August 12, 2011

• Grief After Suicide:  An Interview with Dr. Jack Jordan
PsychCentral.com, July 2011

• Men Grieve Differently; Widowers At Higher Risk of Suicide Thank Widows
New York Times, July 25, 2011

• President to Send Condolence Letters After Suicides in Combat Zones
PBS NewsHour, July 7, 2011 (Video)
New York Times, July 7, 2011

• The Suicide Paradox (Radio Documentary)
Great overview of suicide from a unique perspective.
Freakonomics Radio, June 22, 2011

• Expert on mental illness who treats the seriously suicidal reveals her own fight with mental illness and suicide
New York Times, June 23, 2011

• British Actor Stephen Fry Discusses His Bipolar Disorder
and Ongoing Thoughts of Suicide

Digital Spy, June 2, 2011

• Elite South Korean University Rattled by Suicides
New York Times, May 23, 2011

• Families of Colorado Suicides Stand Together to Find Hope
Denver Post, May 22, 2011

• University of South Dakota Group Spreading Suicide Awareness
Yankton Press & Dakotan, May  19, 2011

• Better Mental Health Care for Veterans Called for
in the Wake of Court Decision

A federal circuit court finds government incompetence is leading to thousands of suicides.
New York Times Editorial, May 19, 2011

• Sirdeaner Walker, mother of 11-year-old bullied son who took his life,
honored by AFSP at 2011 Lifesavers dinner in NYC

Video news story from ABC40 in Springfield, MA, May 11, 2011

• New Guidelines for Talking about Suicide and Gay/LGBT People
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, May 5, 2011

• Gay/LGBT Youth Suicide Reports Show Need for More Studies
Windy City Times, April 27, 2011

• Gay and Straight Teens More Likely to Attempt Suicide in Politically Conservative Communities
Associated Press (via Yahoo News), April 18, 2011

• Study Ties Suicide Rate in Work Force to Economy
New York Times, April 15, 2011

• Allergies Can Increase the Risk of Depression
Perhaps an explanation for the increasing suicide rate in spring?
New York Times, April 11, 2011

• Suicide of a Football Player and a Puzzling Last Request
New York Times, February 22, 2011

• Number of Troops Lost to Suicide Undercounted
Congress.org, January 24, 2011

• Gay Teen Suicide Risk:  NY Times columnist Jane Brody takes a closer look at what we know and what we don’t.  New York Times, January 3, 2011

• Bernard Madoff’s Son Kills Himself:  On the second anniversary of his father’s arrest–and a week after being named as a defendant in a civil lawsuit filed by the trustee seeking assets for victims of the scheme–Mark Madoff hanged himself at home, while his 2-year-old son was asleep in an adjoining bedroom.   New York Times, December 11, 2010

• Female Vets Especially Vulnerable to Suicide
NPR, Weekend Edition Saturday, December 4, 2010

• Alarming Increase in Civilian Soldier Suicides:  National Guard soldiers who are not on active duty killed themselves this year at nearly twice the rate of 2009.
USA Today, Friday, November 26, 2010

• Dear Abby Advises on “Getting Over” a Loved One’s Suicide
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Thursday, November 11, 2010

• Preventing Military Suicides:  NPR’s Scott Simon talks with Adm. Mike Mullen, chairman of Joint Chiefs of Staff, and his wife, Deborah, about the increased efforts to curb suicides by military servicemen and women.
NPR Weekend Edition, Saturday, November 6, 2010

• “It Gets Better” Videos: These two videos moved me to tears and one can only hope that they give hope to teens who feel hopeless.
Young Broadway stars sing for the Trevor Project
The Broadway company of “Chicago” talk about how it gets better

• Military Suicides:  In light of record military suicides and high death rates among returning soldiers from a variety of causes, columnist Bob Herbert urges better mental health care for U.S. soldiers.
New York Times, October 23, 2010

• Survivors of Military Suicides:  National Public Radio story on the efforts being made by TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors) to support family members left behind in the aftermath of a soldier’s sucide.
NPR, October 21, 2010

• President Obama “It Gets Better” Video:  President Obama addresses bullying and suicide and urges young people who feel isolated to reach out to adults for help.  Very compelling and just the right tone.
From the White House, October 21, 2010

• It Gets Better—Surviving Suicide:  Here’s an essay I wrote for Chicago’s LGBT newspaper, which is running a series of essays in response to the recent suicides of several young gay people who have been bullied.  Click here for my essay, which  focuses on the survivor experience.  Click here for links to all of the essays in the article.
Windy City Times, October 13, 2010

• Despite Army Efforts, Soldier Suicides Continue:  For a variety of reasons, efforts to reduce military suicides fail to affect the rate of suicide among soldiers.
New York Times, October 10, 2010

• Survivor Profile—Coping With An Unfinished Life:  Karen Green, widow of writer David Foster Wallace, uses her art to work through the experience of losing her husband to suicide.
New York Times, October 8, 2010

• Music Student Takes Life After Exposure on Internet:  Tyler Clementi, 18, jumped from NYC’s George Washington Bridge after his roommate secretly broadcast Tyler’s intimate encounter with another young man.
New York Times, September 29, 2010
New York Daily News, September 29, 2010

• Preventing Military Suicides: Congressman Rush Holt urges passage of legislation, named for Coleman Bean, the late son of Greg and Linda Bean, that provides for a national program to reach at-risk National Guard and Reserve members of the military. 
New York Times, Letters to the Editor, September 27, 2010

• Military Suicides: NY Times editorial urges more be done to care for troubled soldiers after they return home.
New York Times, Editorial, September 21, 2010

• Golden Gate Bridge:  San Francisco Supervisor Sponsors “Please Don’t Jump Day”
San Francisco Examiner, September 15, 2010

• Suicide and Brain Injury—Possible Link? College football player’s suicide death raises question.
New York Times, September 14, 2010

• Anti-Suicide Campaign Backed by Gay Rugby Referee:  Nigel Owens helps launch Samaritans Men on the Ropes campaign.
BBC News, September 8, 2010

• Suicide in Middle Age:  An essay by Dan Fields, former editor in chief of Dr. Andrew Weil’s Self-Healing newsletter.
The Good Men Magazine, August 15, 2010

• New York Public Library Develops Policy on Callers Who Threaten Suicide
American Libraries, August 12, 2010

• Family History of Mental Illness:  Lisa Belkin visits with a Carnegie relative who has written a compelling book about her family’s legacy of pain.
New York Times, August 11, 2010

• The Suicide of a Friend:  Andrew Solomon writes an incredibly moving essay about the death of a college classmate.
Yale Alumni Magazine, July/August 2010

Veterans:  Veterans turn to suicide hot line for help.  This article and video moved me to tears.
New York Times, July 31, 2010

Military Suicides:  Pentagon report places blame for high suicide rate.
New York Times, July 30, 2010

Golden Gate Bridge:  Funding approved for design of suicide barrier.
New York Times, July 29, 2010

Funding for Military Mental Health Care:   New York Times editorial in favor of legislation to provide funding for mental health care for all Army reservists in light of skyrocketing suicides and suicide attempts.  (Seems like a no-brainer, but clearly someone with no brain–or heart–thinks we shouldn’t be spending the money.)
New York Times, July 23, 2010

Military Suicides:  Army reports record number of suicides for the month of June.
USA Today, July 15, 2010

• Impulsive Suicide:  A Cautionary Tale from the Aunt of Teddy Graubard
HuffPost Healthy Living, June 11, 2010

• Feature Story on the Suicide of Dalton High School Student Teddy Graubard
New York Magazine,  May 30, 2010

•  A Brother’s Suicide:  ”Can I Just Tell You” Radio Commentary by Michel Martin.
NPR, “Maybe Someday Love Will Cure Despair,” May 24, 2010

Military Suicides & Presidential Condolence Letters:  My letter to the editor of the New York Times.
New York Times, December 9, 2009

• Animal Suicide:  A scientific debate.
Time magazine, March 19, 2010

• A Daughter Writes of Her Mother’s Suicide and Her Daughter’s Birth
“Modern Love,” New York Times, January 29, 2006